artconstellation: You tore this & threw it away. I saved it.

August 7, 2007

You tore this & threw it away. I saved it.

(mixed media, 11.5" x 8.5", 2003)

Email This BlogThis!Share to Twitter Share to Facebook

Labels: abortion. suicide. terror. trauma., drawings, flashbacks. ptsd. violence nightmare., healing. holding on and letting go., incest. rape. child sexual abuse., pain. grief. loss.

No comments:

Artconstellation

Loading...

Labels

dissociative identity disorder (504) drawings (415) incest. rape. child sexual abuse. (262) poems (106) abortion. suicide. terror. trauma. (99) healing. holding on and letting go. (89) healing (82) venice (80) pain. grief. loss. (78) flashbacks. ptsd. violence nightmare. (67) writings (63) cycle of healing (57) piece of the constellation (57) incest (56) recovering (56) moving to Italy. I love you S. (51) drawing on clothing (48) italy (46) I love you Jessieh. (44) my story (44) The Coming Down the Mountain Alphabet. (42) Lloyd and Jessieh 4 ever (36) a screaming pain (33) let the recovery continue (32) olive and jenny (31) wall (30) finally telling. using words. (29) I love you Stefano. (25) art therapy (25) drawing on fabric (25) seduction of the aggressor (24) The blanket of love project. (22) music (22) self portraits (22) if there is a hell I hope you are going. (20) moving to Italy. I love you Stefano. (20) I love you Stefano. See you SOON (19) pain (19) if there is a hell I hope that you are going. (18) I love you Stefano. I love you Apple. (17) cats (Lloyd is magic.) (17) yes yes yes (17) Lloyd is magic. (15) post-therapy nausea (15) rape. pain. hurt (15) red bike (15) healing. (14) getting better now (13) rape of the heart. (13) i love you Eve. (12) pre-therapy nausea (12) survivor (12) cadaver head series (11) Charlotte and Jenny (10) Lloyd and Winston. (10) the handbag a day project (10) swarm & jenny (9) collaborative (8) healing. joy. (8) therapy (8) new (7) pre-therapy anxiety (7) rape of my face (7) Angus rolls into town (6) a. work in progress (6) artists (6) incest survivor (6) little orange cat (6) race to stop the silence and end child sexual abuse (6) the numbers written inside the needle's eye (6) video (6) yes to love (6) See you SOON. (5) Stefano (5) carry on in love (5) coat for Jessieh (5) collage (5) dancing. (5) disordered eating (5) happiness (5) healing bones (5) how to change the world today (5) living. (5) loss (5) rage (5) self. (5) truths (5) we are family (5) world gone wrong (5) (sidereal time) (4) Thank you Stefano I love you. (4) bizarre miracle of recovering (4) button (4) cats (4) christopher (4) depression (4) flying cats (4) freedom (4) heavy boots (4) hope is the dream of a waking man (4) it is as though a fire burns in my eyes and I have to weep to go on seeing. (4) joy (4) knowing what I wish I never knew (4) moving to Italy. I love you Stefano- you are amazing (4) photograph (4) run (4) running out of places to hide (4) sadness (4) self? (4) sketchbooks (4) stop the violence (4) the book of jump (4) the little apple (4) the memories from my body return (4) this is what it looks like to keep going even when you think you can not go one more step (4) trauma (4) using words (4) work drawing 1 (4) DID PARTY (3) Go Angus go. (3) Heather (3) Jessica (3) This life I do not understand. (3) Winston and Lloyd and I move to Italia. (3) a very big love (3) amore mio (3) art life (3) ballet (3) biker me (3) blood on hands book (3) electric (3) fritter and I in the south (3) graduate school (3) hating myself (3) holiday (3) hurting (3) in a twist (3) let the freedom continue (3) minnesota mural (3) new bike (3) nolens volens. (3) one dollar bet (3) opera (3) pre-therapy grievances (3) trading in my razor blades for ink (3) when you were gone (book) (3) winston. (3) world sickness (3) And it feels like my skin is on fire (2) I love you S. See you SOON (2) I love you S.O. (2) I love you Stefano but I am totally serious about this. (2) I miss you Jessieh (2) Lloyd has his eye on you (2) Lloyd is always the magic bunny (2) Maria fall(ing) (2) Nina Simone (2) Pack your bags Lloyd and Winston you are moving to Italy. (2) Pack your bags Lloyd you are moving to Italy. (2) STOP HATING YOURSELF (2) Stefano with his Apple. (2) Thank you. (2) Thanksgiving 2009 (2) The incredible insubtleness of my artwork (2) affliction (2) angela. (2) beauty (2) being happy (2) blue binder of hope and happiness (2) blue nail polish (2) breaking through (2) bus (2) coming together undone (2) contest (2) courage (2) crisis (2) crying a sea (2) cycle of sanity (2) dancer (2) dissociative decision making. oh my. (2) dissociative identity disorder recovery (2) fear (2) goodbye hello (2) goodbye nighty (2) gym (2) hate (2) honestly (2) hope. (2) huge change is possible (2) i can not lose what was already taken (2) i love the sea (2) it must have been enormous- something too big to see (2) italy. staying alive (2) jeans for Angela (2) knitting (2) learning italian (2) multiple (2) new Italian (2) not even worth a "fuck you" (2) october drawing (2) open your eyes. violence is everywhere. (2) our final countdown (2) picture post (2) picture this (2) running up that hill (2) sanity (2) scary (2) selves portrait (2) shame (2) snow (2) stockholm syndrome (2) tags in the title (2) talking (2) tattoo (2) testing every marker and every word (2) thank you universe (2) the head has a body and it seems problematic (2) travel (2) twist (2) two year anniversary (2) urolangia heartache memories (2) waiting (2) we have to recognize child abuse and break the cycle (2) why why why why why why (2) work drawing 2 (2) working jean 2010 (2) dissociative identity disorderpoems!incest. rape. child sexual abuse."abortion. suicide. terror. trauma.healing (1) (now then) (1) .you beat me down for 17 years and now I will get up (1) 2006 sketchbook pages (1) 30 days (1) ALIVE. (1) ATTENTION UNIVERSE SAVE MY FUCKING CAT (1) And I suggested that Lloyd be cloned. (1) Angus and Banana George (1) Bitch is the new black. (1) Blu. (1) Can you still love me (1) Coat from jessieh (1) DID SUCKS (1) DID book (1) DID on paper (1) Daisy the Curly Cat (1) Foundazione Claudio Buziol (1) Friday. (1) Goodbye May Hello June (1) Happy 17th Birthday to my Jessieh (1) I am going (1) I am going to write a thousand messages here to you (1) I go away to return again (1) I go on (1) I hate you Abuser (1) I heart us (1) I looooove him. (1) I love you Jenny (1) I love you and miss you Stefano. (1) I love you eve and jessieh and my Stefano (1) I miss you Eve (1) I sure do love biking (1) I think we come and go from the cage Kate and we are always in there less and less xo (1) I took a crayon and drew a boat and sailed away (1) In MN with my Fritter. (1) It is going to be okay (1) It was enormous- something too big to see. (1) Jenny Sawle (1) L.S. (1) Lily (1) Lloyd and Stefano (1) Lloyd is completely mad because he has always wanted to live in France and in a few weeks he will be going to Italy. (1) Lloyd wants a mini cooper (1) Met Artwork of the Day (1) Mister Peabody (1) OBAMA (1) Running farther running faster (1) SIX DAYS (1) Taking back everything (1) Taking my name (1) Talk it out (1) Tao Yu (1) Thank you L. (1) Thank you P.K. (1) The incredible unpleasantness of being raped by my very own dad and for so many years. (1) The universe rights itself (1) There is a day when the performance art is over and it is today. (1) Things that happen when you try to take an Italian away from his mother. (1) Throw your arms up and dance (1) UST (1) YES to that. (1) Yes of course I will marry you Stefano. (1) Yesterday was terribly hard so today I made bunny ears for Lloyd. (1) Yipee (1) Your great heart (1) a memory that nearly blinds her (1) a message from your future wife. (1) alex (1) anger (1) anxiety. (1) art. italy. love. the countryside. luca signorelli (1) art. or not... (1) artist on the go now (1) as a spider crept (1) ashleigh (1) asking for suggestions (1) awake (1) be the change (1) bicycle (1) big heart love (1) birthday of my birth mother (1) blister. (1) blogged (1) blogs (1) books (1) break open (1) breaking up with scared (1) button grace saves the art world (1) c.f. (1) cat in her hat (1) ceremony (1) change. (1) check yourself (1) choice (1) circular thinking and the complications that follow (1) clothes canvas (1) constantly living and dying (1) counting days (1) creative (1) crying (1) crying and typing (1) crying. laughing (1) dancer dancing dances (1) dancing artist (1) day (1) denial (1) dissociative identity disorder. (1) dissociative identity order (sort of) (1) dive and bleed (1) divided thoughts (1) do what you are going to do and I will tell about it. (1) don't wake me up now (1) drag brunch (1) drag u (1) drawing my little heart and all of my other organs right out (1) drawing the line and crossing it. (1) dual language (1) eating disorder (1) end of the holiday Sept 2009 (1) excited exciting excitement (1) fear of my fear (1) first the making and then the naming (1) flip side (1) friends and roommates (1) fugue (1) getting a car. (1) getting ready (1) going on being (1) goodbye Wednesday (1) hair (1) happy birthday Jessieh (1) heal me up (1) heartbreak (1) hell. (1) how my mind saved my heart (1) how to ease my pained brain (1) how to get to the nearest couch or bed after lunch (1) how to scream with a mouthful (1) how to sing (1) i have nothing to ask a blessing for except these words i wish they were grass (1) i love you jessieh (1) image gift (1) in a fall (1) in a pawnshop sense (1) in the mail this week (1) in the tower (1) intaglio (1) interim bleed (1) intestines (1) it can make you feel crazy (1) it sure does feel good to feel better (1) italia (1) jenny. (1) just two more days (1) keep going. (1) keep stepping (1) kermit the frog (1) laugh about your dissociative disorder sometimes or cry a lot (1) learning patience (1) learning words (1) let the great world spin (1) life love (1) lines (1) living in Italy (1) looking (1) love (1) love train (1) love walk (1) loved (1) lovely (1) magic shoes (1) make. (1) making names (1) metaphor (1) mix (1) motorcycle (1) moving on (1) mr blackandwhite (1) multiple ways of being (1) my bird watching Easter bunny. (1) my body. (1) n. (1) never will your hands touch my throat ever again never (1) new langauage (1) new life (1) new school shoes (1) no more cutting (1) note from the darker side (1) notes regarding the rapist (1) o (1) only made possible with help from Fritter (1) oskar (1) ouch. (1) out of the black and into the pink (1) p.nut (1) pain inside and almost everywhere (1) painful (1) paris (1) parts that have not drawn in a very long time (1) path (1) person (1) pesky (1) picture that (in a fall) (1) plan (1) plum exhausted (1) posts to you and me (1) power (1) prayer (1) present. (1) presents from Stefano (1) real love (1) red book (1) relief (1) remembering that it is 2009 (1) revelations by Eve (1) ride (1) right on time (1) safe landing (1) sans family (1) saturday morning drawing with dogs (1) scared to go to therapy this morning (1) self portrait of the artist crying about everything (1) senses (1) sewing (1) she is actually the greatest dog in the world (1) she said yes to me (1) shiny (1) shit (1) short update. (1) sign. (1) sleep of the sane (1) sleeping (or the lack there of) (1) smallest room in the house (1) sound (1) stalling (1) stefano and his Apple (1) struggling (1) stumble (1) suicide. (1) sun blister (1) superDID (1) supernova (1) surviorsofincest project (1) sweet relief (1) tags in the post (1) take me to the future please (1) thank you Jen (1) thank you for helping me write this Stefano- I love you. (1) thank you heather and eve (1) thank you pfm I love you (1) thankful (1) the apple (1) the bus to happy (1) the end of not knowing (1) the light is too much (almost) (1) the magic daughter (1) the muddler (1) the smile (1) the therapy of art (1) the weather in Italia (1) the year is 2009 (1) therapy monday (1) there will be hard days (1) this I believe (1) this is me not self injuring but howling (1) time. (1) tired (1) to recover (1) transference issues (1) trying to learn Italian (1) tumble (1) turning into a bunny (1) universal (1) vacation (1) very short post (1) voice (1) waffle house virgin no more. (1) waterships (1) we belong together. (1) wedding dresses (1) weirdness of healing (1) what to do when you realize you are nobody's prisoner anymore. (1) whiskey tango foxtrot (1) winged victory (1) wish of a runaway (1) without (1) wondering about romare bearden (1) working out my masterpiece on a widget (1) writing (1) you are going to want to die. (1) you have to take it with you when you go (1) you killed my cat (1) you thought you would kill me but you only made me stronger (1) you've come a long way (1)

Cycle of Healing

Survivors speak out.

--------------------------

TAKING BACK EVERYTHING

Survivor self portraits.

--------------------------

jennysawle.com

ARTCONSTELLATION My name is Jenny Sawle. I'm a 35 year old artist. I survived 25 years of incest & abuse. I have DID. I've been in therapy for almost 10 years & just completed my MFA. These are my personal recollections & feelings. To this day my entire family denies that my recollections are true.

www.flickr.com

Blog Archive

► 2013 (172)
- June (20)
- May (34)
- April (18)
- March (31)
- February (32)
- January (37)

► 2012 (337)
- December (18)
- November (42)
- October (36)
- September (30)
- August (21)
- July (9)
- June (32)
- May (17)
- April (37)
- March (31)
- February (23)
- January (41)

► 2011 (468)
- December (23)
- November (22)
- October (25)
- September (45)
- August (77)
- July (63)
- June (34)
- May (61)
- April (50)
- March (30)
- February (25)
- January (13)

► 2010 (245)
- December (15)
- November (24)
- October (22)
- September (30)
- August (19)
- July (23)
- June (20)
- May (27)
- April (24)
- March (9)
- February (12)
- January (20)

► 2009 (303)
- December (20)
- November (23)
- October (34)
- September (24)
- August (24)
- July (27)
- June (25)
- May (14)
- April (21)
- March (33)
- February (32)
- January (26)

► 2008 (416)
- December (23)
- November (36)
- October (30)
- September (19)
- August (32)
- July (50)
- June (52)
- May (23)
- April (30)
- March (46)
- February (32)
- January (43)

▼ 2007 (267)
- December (34)
- November (19)
- October (33)
- September (23)
- August (43)
- July (23)
- June (29)
- May (45)
- April (18)

Powered by Blogger.